An article in the Wall Street Journal alerted me to a new service retailers offer women shoppers. (Yes,
according to the article it's all women and it exclusively targets those who buy them gifts - their men and their grandmothers.)
Apparently a woman creates a wish list at the participating boutique of her choice and sales reps from said boutique call the unsuspecting husband, boyfriend, father, or grandmother and inform them what to buy her for the holidays.
Ugh. Okay, whatever. But the site Net-A-Porter takes it one step further. "Santa's Little Helper" is a customizable video clip to be emailed to your man (sorry grandmas) detailing what you'd like to see under the tree. You get to pick from cute little sobriquets like "Honey Bunny", "Captain", "Stud", and "Big Boy", and choose your personality/body type - "Stylish/Curvaceous", "Devious/Leggy", "Minxy/Petite".
Next you pick three qualities from a terribly macho list of adjectives (one of which is, actually, "macho") to describe your man. Is he "rich"? "Acomplished?" "Attentive?" "Housebroken?" Now you get to choose his ultimate nightmare (good one, no?) -- "aesthetic downfall", "financial ruin", "global disaster", and what he would most like to win - "X-factor", "the Superbowl", "Scrabble". Finally, from a drop-down list of six items, you choose "what you really want." Your choices? "
- A cocktail ring
- A fabulous tote
- A pair of Louboutins
- A slinky party dress
- Some gilded Jimmy Choos
- Dangly earrings.
What more would a woman want?
Another click and your blonde 007-ish temptress will use her velvety voice and ego-stroking skills to lure your man to perfect holiday purchases with phrases like "She's lucky to have a man like you," and "if she's happy, you're happy."
The email comes attached with your specific requests - complete with links to where he can whip out his American Express Gold Card and go to town.
I suppose I'm not exactly offended by this, after all it's hitting its demographic square in the wallet, which is its aim. I guess it must be the demographic itself that I find so appalling. The WSJ article quotes a 24 year old woman explaining the beneficial effect retail sales calls have on her father
"If it's someone else telling him about it, he won't respond like, 'Oh, that's too expensive...This time, he may be more likely to go in and look at my items without passing judgment."
Some men loved the idea, admitting themselves clueless to the intricacies of their wives material desires (one NFL player cringes recalling how he once purchased a Luis Vuitton bag for his wife that she - gasp - already owned!) and so corporately busy that this makes life easy.
I guess so. But I can't help feeling disturbed. Could it be because I don't know the meaning of phrases like "cocktail ring" and "pair of Louboutins"?
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